TGIF

This week has flown by! Last Friday, we picked up Fr. Donnie’s grand-niece, Stephanie, in Mwanza. For the few of you who don’t know, she came over here with my mom, Fr. Donnie’s sister, Ruth, and another Weymouth High adjustment counselor, Kelly, a couple of years ago. As expected, Stephanie is way more popular than I am over here, and it’s only been 3 days!

It’s been pretty funny sitting back, and watching the reactions of the local people when they introduce themselves to her. “For example” (Inside Fr. Michael joke…I can’t even count how many times he uses those 2 words in a day!), this one guy whipped out his cell phone and started taking pictures of us from behind the bushes. Moreover, the kids go absolutely nuts whenever she steps out of the house (On the first day, I had to get in the back of Fr. Donnie’s truck and pry kids off because they were clinging to the moving vehicle!) However, the weirdest encounter that’s taken place so far, has been with this dude named Charles. We have had to repeatedly deny Charles’ uncomfortably high-pitched invitations to “walk down to the river with him…where we could have all the sugar cane that we’d ever want” (YOUTUBE “Charlie the Unicorn”…there are way too many correlations between the video and this experience...). Let’s just sum it up way: in a place that does not recognize “alternative lifestyles”, ect…, Charles would be much more distraught over Oprah’s final episode than Wednesday night’s Bruin’s loss!

Have a nice, looooong weekend and Go Bs!

Wacky Wednesdays!

Hey Guys,
Another interesting week in the village. A big snake was found the other night outside the house. The guards had to smash it in the head because it was poisonous…Anyway, I’m in a rush because we’re getting ready to head into Mwanza again. So, I figured that we could get a little educational…Here’s a random list of words and phrases in Swahili and Sukuma: (I think my favorite is “Dog’s Meat”...Do people actually that? Not sure if I want to know…).

English- Dementia Factor
Swahili-Kichaa lukichaa kigawa
Sukuma- Lutuga/Nzaji Jigawo.

English- No I won’t
Swahili-Hapana siwezi.
Sukuma-Nadudija.

English-Good Morning
Swahili-Jambo au habari za asubuki.
Sukuma-Mangaluka

English-Good Evening
Swahili-Habari za jioni
Sukuma-Madero

English-See you later.
Swahili-Tutaonana baadaye.
Sukuma-Dugwibona makanza.

English- One Thousand (1000).
Swahili- Elfu moja.
Sukuma- Shi hubi shimo.

English- One Hundred (100).
Swahili- Mia Moja.
Sukuma- Legana lemo.

English- Dog’s Meat
Swahili- Nyama ya mbwa
Sukuma- Nyama ya mva

English- Frog’s Meat
Swahili- Nyama ya chura
Sukuma- Nyama ya danga.

English- Chicken Miscarriage
Swahili- Nyama ya kuki kutoka kwa mimba
Sukuma- Nyama ya ngoko gwinga guli.

English- Any alcoholic beverage
Swahili- Pombe
Sukuma- Walwa

English- Banana Beer
Swahili- Mbege
Sukuma- Mbege/walwa

English- Doctor
Swahili-Mganga
Sukuma- Uguwhapeja.

English-A Letter
Swahili-Barau
Sukuma-Nyaruwa.

English- For example
Swahili- Mfano
Sukuma- Mfano

English- Very Good
Swahili- Safi
Sukuma-Obeja

English- I think so
Swahili- Sidhani
Sukuma- Nadamanile.

English- Cows
Swahili-Ng’ombe
Sukuma-Ng’ombe

English- Lion
Swahili- Simba
Sukuma- Shimba

English- Boy
Swahili- Mvulana
Sukuma- Nyanda

English- Girl
Swahili- Mischana
Sukuma- Ng’wanike

English- Father’s Name
Swahili- Baba
Sukuma- Lima lya ng’wawhawha oko.

English- Grandfather
Swahili- Babu
Sukuma- Nhamala

English- Grandmother
Swahili- Bibi
Sukuma- Ngikulu

English- Brother
Swahili- Kaka
Sukuma- Nyanda

English- At Once
Swahili- Mara moja
Sukuma- Kamo

English- Beginning
Swahili- Mwanzo
Sukuma- Gwandya

English- Fail
Swahili- Kushindwa
Sukuma- Guduma

English- Professor
Swahili- Malaam/ anayeweza
Sukuma- Duja

English- Hyena
Swahili- Fisi
Sukuma- Mbint

English- Snake
Swahili- Nyoka
Sukuma- Nzoka

English- Insects
Swahili- Wadudu
Sukuma- Tushino

English- Student
Swahili- Wanafunzi
Sukuma- Wilangi

English- Book
Swahili- Kitabu
Sukuma- Jidawho

English- Thank you
Swahili- Asante
Sukuma-Mwabeja

English- White people
Swahili- Mtu mweusi
Sukuma- Munho opi.

English- Where do you come from?
Swahili- Unatoka wapi?
Sukuma- Ulenga hee?

English- My name is…
Swahili- Jina langunaitwa…
Sukuma- Linha lyane…

English- Water
Swahili- Majii
Sukuma- Minze

Playing Catch-Up

Last week was pretty busy. We spent a lot of time on the road, so I’ve been doing my best to keep things updated on my end. Check it out!!!

-Mwanza
On Tuesday, we took the 3-hour trip to Mwanza because Fr. Donnie, Fr. Dan, and Fr. Michael had their bi-annual meetings with the other Maryknoll missionaries that work throughout Tanzania. We went out to some really nice restaurants for dinner, including a great place that sits on Lake Victoria!

-When Baboons Attack!
As most of you know, Fr. Donnie and I were nearly attacked by a group of ferocious baboons outside of the Serengeti (check out the video on my facebook if you haven’t seen it yet...). My sincerest apologies for the shaky camera work…grabbing bananas took precedence over capturing those awful animals in the act!

-So Long…
We said goodbye to Fr. Dan while in Mwanza. He’s heading back to the states for some much-needed back surgery. Just like Fr. Donnie, Fr. Dan has spent the majority of his life helping out the poor. Moreover, Fr. Dan’s list of accomplishments is quite impressive: He’s worked in UN refugee camps during various civil wars, built the first windmills in the region (which have been very effective in helping to supply water to people), and he’s successfully decreased tensions between two of Tanzania’s most hostile tribes, the Sukuma and Watatulu…So ya, I guess it’s finally time for Fr. Dan to take care of himself

-Welcome Back!
Fr. Ed “SugarDaddy” Schulman came back to Ndoleleji this week. Fr. Ed is an extremely intelligent guy(he has his doctorate in psychology, and he reads ALL the time!). While his kindness is admirable, it creates an impression in some people’s minds that the priests have more than they letting on…Anyway, like I said before, he’s a really good guy, so I guess we’ll just see what happens!

-Food Shopping
I promise to never complain about going to Stop-N-Shop ever again. SugarDaddy Shulman (sorry, I just really like that nickname) asked me to join him to help him get food at the market because the environment is absolutely crazy! For example, random people started asking me if Osama Bin Laden was dead. At first, I nodded my head, however, more and more people seemed to be getting excited over hearing me discuss the subject. I also had a chance to look at a few of the local papers, which had pictures of what definitely looked like fake-autopsy photos, so I wasn’t even sure what was being reported to the people over here. Once we had finished shopping, I jumped in the back of Fr. Donnie’s truck to make sure nobody stole any of our food. As we were pulling away, some dude gave me his best Dwayne Wade impersonation, and hit me in the back with a cheap shot. It didn’t hurt, nonetheless, I was rather displeased…

“Paging Doctor…” Oh Right, Nevermind!

Alright, let’s cut to the chase. This week, I scraped up my knee. Assuming it was no big deal, I went back to playing tennis and waited a few hours to clean the cut…Big Mistake! When I woke up the next morning, my knee looked nasty (I realize that many of you who are reading this are in/ studying to be in the medical field, however, I don’t feel like getting into specifics because this stuff grosses me out, ya freaks!)

Speaking of future professionals in medicine, I attempted to contact Bridget, my caring and compassionate little sister because I had a few questions for her (I was hoping to get some information on the painful meds they put on the wound (I found out that Iodine makes you feel like your leg is on fire). When I realized that it wasn’t getting any better, I considered just having it cut off (That’s really not a joke. There’s a kid down the road with 1 leg because the sleezeball father didn’t take him to the hospital in time—mind you the 50+ yr. old father is the same upstanding individual who bought and subsequently married a 19 yr. old girl—gotta love that dowry…and Craig Stevenson don’t even think about it!) Unfortunately, Bridget, who is like .000001 away from a 4.0 GPA in nursing school, was unavailable because she was preoccupied by the Royal Wedding festivities…Btw, there is absolutely ZERO chance that Prince William could have landed a girl like that in real life…Any guy who has that severe of a receding hairline has one of two choices on the baldness spectrum. On one extreme, you can shave it all off completely. It probably takes some time to get used to but it’s definitely the safer play. Then, on the other side, there’s the Tom Brady hairplug thingamajig route (minus the ponytail)…Quick interesting fact, Brady’s father was briefly studying to become a Maryknoll priest. Fr. Donnie and Fr. Dan know people back in California who are still friends with him. In addition, they can confirm that Bridget Moynihan didn’t tell Brady that she was with child until she found out about him dating Gisele…Ok, you caught me, that’s a lie!).

*In other news, “Juicy” the researcher received a call from Maryknoll on Thursday night from one of the higher-up priests from the organization (Fr. Donnie hates cell phones, so he gave her his…another BIG mistake). Juicy was told to let Fr. Donnie know that an elderly priest had passed away. This recently deceased priest’s first name happened to be “Ed”, which is also the name of a priest who lives out here (he’s currently home recovering from surgery). Since there are not many “Eds” from Africa, Juicy assumed it was him. In addition, she informed the entire nation of Tanzania that this Fr. Ed had unexpectedly died. In all seriousness, Fr. Michael was getting txt’s all day from as far out as Dar es Salaam (on the opposite side of the country).